"Muse"

First of all, I lost .8lbs this week for a total of 5.6lbs.  This means that I recieved my very first 5lb sticker and am uber excited!  A family friend told me that he could tell I had lost some weight at church last week.  My boyfriend loves me no matter what size I am (my goodness he's wonderful!) and I've had some friends ask me why I'm doing WW.  I'm doing this for me.  I want to be healthier.

In the writing world, we often talk about our "Muse" and how she or he or they inspire us in our writing.  Personally, I have more then one supposed "Muse."  My God, my family, my boyfriend, my friends, and the beautiful world around me.

I have had a bit of a writer's block for quite some time now.  Just last week, I started writing poetry again and I am phyched!  One of my problems has been that I don't have that much time, and I still don't.  But now I'm making time.  Whenever and wherever I have an idea, I write it down; don't tell my professors....

One way that I really know that my creative "Muse" has seeped its way back into my veins is when I start writing love poetry.  I started a love poem last night.  These are, naturally, for K; although, he hasn't seen all of them.  There are some poems that will never be seen by anyone else's eyes but my own because they are way too sappy.

A poem that I wrote the day before the day before is one that I actually like (I rarely like my own work) but am very unsure of at the same time.  This is the first time that I have used profanity in one of my works; it isn't something that I use in my life.  "Savage Beast," this poem I created, simply felt as if it called for foul language.  And I gave it what it desired.

Never stop writing...

Pie

I lost 1 pd at WW this week, which is really odd considering how stressed I've been.  When I'm stressed, I eat more.  I also didn't track as well as I normally do, so am going to work on it this week.  In the meeting this morning we talked about how there's always a rainbow.  It's not just about loosing weight; for some people it's about feeling healthier, being able to put on an item of clothing/jewelry that they haven't worn in years.  For others it was being able to look down and see their feet again, or painting their toe nails without getting out of breath.  Personaly, my rainbow is feeling healthier and being able to excercise for longer and harder than I have been in the past.  But I also have rainbows outside of WW.  My family, my boyfriend, my friends, my church family, the ability to write, and my job.  What's your rainbow?

My job is pretty amazing.  I work with a group of wonderful people who are sometimes as crazy as I am.  My managers, coworkers, and I create a large dysfunctional family.  Naturally, there's drama.  Sometimes the ideal team work scenario doesn't work out and people tempers run high.  Someone tells me she thinks that a certain group of people at work are lazy, and then another person from that group walks by after person A asked me to help her with something.  Person B informs me that A is lazy.

Don't you love being in the middle of things?

I also love my customers, especially my regulars.  The ones that have actually learned how to pronounce my name and get happy when they see me.  Who make a point of having an actual conversation with me.  There's one couple that used to come in all of the time, and I'm starting to get worried because I haven't seen them in months.  Another couple that comes in, the wife delivers papers every day, and the husband did the driving for her after she had surgery.  One couple I saw last night brought their son and his new girlfriend with them.  The son informed me that he was excited at how well his parents were getting along with his new girlfriend; I talked to the wife about her spoiled dogs; the husband teasingly flirted with me as always; and on their way out they told me about his upcoming heart surgery.  There's an older man that comes in with his friends all of the time, who has informed me about a book that I must read; he keeps forgetting to bring me the promised copy.  One of our server's relatives comes in and calls me "Trouble" all of the time.  A couple of ladies that are always there--and I think that they're related to one of the managers--often bring in pies for the managers.  They gave me a pie last night.  And the kids that come in all of the time, they're wonderful.  I've been hugged my a couple of the little ones, and bought girl scout cookies from one of them.  I helped sing our Happy Birthday song to a little girl who had just turned one last night.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm bursting with stories, but they aren't all mine to tell.  I'm not that talkative most of the time, but I love listening.  I carry the stories of many different customers and coworkers with me, and they will stay with me out of love.

I do love my job.  No, it isn't my dream job, and I honestly never intended to work in food.  But it's amazing, and I'm so blessed to be able to have this experience.

At work they call me....

Baby (i'm called this by my managers, coworkers, and customers. apparently, they (my wonderful work family) have adopted me)

Honey

Sweetie (i get this one a lot from the customers)

Hun (this is meant to be the shortened version of "honey," but i'm not really quite sure how to spell it. what i have here looks more like Attila the hun to me.)

Darlin'

Love (by one of the servers)

The Cashier

SeannaBanana (brought on by one of my managers. is sometimes shortened as Banana. this shortened version is brought on by not just my manager, but by me as well. as in <insertname> called somebody else ___banana and i go "but i'm the banana!")

Various other cashier's names (when somebody has a brain fizzle and forgets my name)

Serena (<insertname>, one of our servers, has been forgetting my name and calling me this)

Cielo (this means ceiling in Spanish. <insertname> said Que Paso? [What's up?] so i said ceiling. thus insued a long winded back and forth about what i was saying until one of the servers, who has been taught "dish-boy Spanish" helped out. Que Paso guy now calls me Cielo.)

Girlie

Sister

Sis' (these two come from one of our managers referring to one of the girls on frontline as my sister. we've been calling each other this ever since.)

Seanna (yes, some people do actually use my name. but there are also those who miss-pronounce it as in "Sea-anna." this does at least provide for some conversation while i'm ringing people up.)

To be continued....maybe...if i can think of/encouter some more....

Ma'am

Sweetness

Gorgeous (one of my regulars came in last night with his wife and son and informed me that he couldn't come in without flirting with me while his wife rolled her eyes at him, and that old guys needed to flirt with young people.)

SugerPieHoneyBunch (by one of the female servers, song was stuck in my head for the rest of the evening)

Smiles

Sweetheart

Mamacita

Gangster in Spanish (i can't remember how to say it, and can't find it either)


Maddy (another one of the servers can't remember my name, but for some reason, we agreed that she would call me this.

BusFriend

This morning at WW lost 1.2 pds despite the fact that I started my period (sorry if is TMI) and ate out a couple of times this week.  I started this blog earlier in the week and haven't had the time to finish it until now.  I hope that it isn't too much of a rant.

There is a woman who I have been talking to this semester while waiting for the bus.  I know that I could walk to places, but there is an alternative lot, which is some distance away from campus and I'm not walking all the way down the hill to get there.  Anyways, we had a rather interesting conversation today that I wanted to share.

She is very sweet and we enjoy talking about school, especially one of the teachers we share (who I recently discovered has Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde syndrome).  My bus friend's personality is one that very much enjoys talking and if you know me you'll understand why it overpowers mine.  I spend the majority of our conversations nodding my head with random little insertions into the conversation, but I don't mind.  Today, I had a bit more to say while she was talking about her son and his girlfriend, who she doesn't like, and her nephew's girlfriend, who she also doesn't like.

I could understand at first why BusFriend didn't like his girlfriend because she was mean to her son and giving him the cold shoulder for a while--they're fine now.  But then she started talking about how her son would take forever to meet up with her so that the two of them could go home after their classes.  BusFriend told me that he would come out of Cherry, and then five minutes later she would.  And she's not stupid, she knows what they're carrying on and doing that's causing delays.

Likewise she doesn't like it when the two go out on a date for hours and hours.  Because, again, she knows what they're doing.

"Not necessarily...."

"Well, you know how--"

"My boyfriend and I haven't; we're saving that for marriage."

"Well, you're unique you know."

"..."

"You are, you're very unique. Is he very religious?"

"...we're both Christians." religious? and why did you use it so incredulously? I don't think I like this word; it has too many dark connotations. Christianity is believing that everyone has sinned and are doomed to go to Hell. That the only way out of that end is Christ's love, is the belief that He came in human form and died for our sins.

"Now you're the type of girl I'd want my son looking at. You'd make a good couple!"

"I'm not single."

"Well, I meant if you were. How long have you been together?"

"Three years next month."

"What?! That's way too long! You need to dump him and date new people! You need to get out there, one person isn't enough."

"I love my boyfriend, and we're planning on getting married after college." I'm blessed to have already found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Why on earth would I want to date other people?!

"Well, just wait until after college.  If you don't, use protection. Start taking the pill or something. Then again that doesn't always work; our protection broke! That's how I wound up forty-one and in college."

"Mmmm...."

Let's just say I was extra happy when the bus came that day... But at least it makes me think.  I mean, does everybody think that, if you have a significant other, you immediately and constantly hop into bed with them?  That I can't spend the day with my boyfriend and not have sex?  That you shouldn't keep your significant other for a long period of time, instead getting rid of them as soon as you can so that you can find new people and get in bed with them instead?

Current Pleasure Reading: still Umberto Eco's book
Current School Reading: Dante's "Inferno"
Currently listening to: "Lookin' for a Good Time" by Lady-A, "Closer" by Ne-Yo, "Colors of the Wind" by Marilyn Brynes, "Your Love" by Emma Burgess
To-Do Listy: Still scary, will hopefully be better after Tuesday

My Journey

This past semester has been the most stressful one so far, and it, along with life, has made it very difficult for me to find time to write. I think that this blog will be a way to help me get some writing in at least once a week.  I'm going to try to post every saturday when I get home from my Weight Watchers meeting and breakfast at Subway-both with my momma.


I joined WW two weeks ago and Mom joined the week before.  Duirng my first week, I lost 3 lbs, but this week I gained .4 lbs.  My struggles with this are eating out, soft drinks at work, trying to find healthy choices on campus, and the fact that I work at a buffet and therefore eat there three days a week.


At work last night, I fell on my butt... It was more embarrassing and amusing then painful.  I only had ten minutes to get the garbage together, so I was running around like a spaz and didn't see the rice that had spilled in the kitchen.


On Wednesday night, I had to shut down frontline on top of cleaning the bathrooms, which is the cashier's responsibility.  Frontline is where our customers get their drinks when they first come in, so there's a lot of cleaning involved.  Besides that, when you work on frontline you have to run back to the dishroom to get plates and trays-both have to be checked by you-and more cups and coffee mugs.  It took me an hour and a half to do all of this because I had to keep running back to the register to take care of my customers.  I also pulled something in my back because I was stupid and picked up a tea urn when I didn't realize that it was quite that heavy.


Am missing my K.  Normally, I don't get to seem him until Sunday after we have lunch together on campus on Friday, and it's the same this week.  But he left on an Ecology field trip on yesterday and won't be back until sometime tomorrow.  I know that it's the same amount of time, it's just a bigger distance and feels different somehow.


Current Pleasure Reading: "The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana" by Umberto Eco
Current School Reading: "The Arthurian Romances" by Chretian (for Medieval Literature)
Currently listening to: "Love Don't Live Here" by Lady A and "On the Floor" by JLo and "Adorn" by Thad Fiscella (on Pandora Radio; I have a random mix going)
To Do Listy: Scary

Cut-Up Poem

Titans Claim Climate Law

Swallowing the sun

is like putting bathwater

into a drown paper bag.

You have to rise and dive under

as well as some one—Kiss Me

And Get Down!—

who hears a squeak

across some filmy surface

of a mega-jumbo loan.

It has been attempted once before.

But like Humpty-Dumpty,

the Marian’s body and head

were all one, and he was unable

to comprehend his own folly.

My inspiration is always seaweed

because no idol, image, or anything

comparable to creation could ever capture

God’s essence…

*This poem needs work...and am open to suggestions for a title...

Hello!

I've been contemplating making myself a blog for a while now, but have never been able to come up with anything that might be interesting or worth posting. I still don't think that I have anything interesting enough to talk about, but yesterday I thought "Let's make a blog!" and so I did.

fyi: it is perfectly natural for a person to talk to themselves, as long as said person doesn't answer themselves...

Anyways, this is most likely going to be some sort of creative writing outlet for whenever I find that miraculous thing called free time; I guess I'll let you know how that turns out.

I've decided that after I graduate I want to be a novelist and/or poet, which would be awesome because that is what I love.  If you do what you love, you're not actually working.  The bad part about this dream is the fact that it doesn't help pay the bills or buy groceries, so I now have editing as a fall back plan.

Whether or not I continue writing on this, the permenant title of this blog, and sanity's standing in the world are all up for grabs.

That's it for now, God bless.